How do we know what makes us happy? How do we know someone is right for us? How do we know what moment is right for doing something? Do we just simply decide for everything and our lives are based on decisions we make or is there something more?
One thing I know for a fact is that fear holds us back. Fear is the reason we don’t settle for things and the reason we don’t try something and so on and so on. How do we overcome fear? First, we need to decide to take actions. As we decide, we accept it, and everything else follows.
“There are no wrong decisions in life. This are only lessons we need to learn.”
[The Life Of Lea]
So let’s get real for a moment. Everything we are, everything we achieve, is based on our decisions. We have to decide what our actions will be, in addition, to come to the result and to acceptance. The “go with the flow” lifestyle is also a decision. We decide to live this way.
How do we make decisions? Our decisions are usually based on experience. More knowledge we have about something, the easier we choose how to act. But we live in the era of options. Today’s life gives us so many options that we sometimes have a hard time with making decisions in everyday life. For example, we go to the store, and we can’t choose what kind of cheese we want to buy. It is too much to choose from. Looking back to the times of our grandparents or maybe even parents there were not that many options. If you were hungry, you ate what you had to eat. If I return to my cheese example, in those times maybe there was only one kind of cheese in the store – if there even was any. You made the best out of what you had.
It’s kind of the same thing when we project this situation onto modern-day relationships. We fall in love, and it’s incredible. After the being-madly-in-love period, we start to ask ourselves if this really is the real thing. Can we settle for the relationship? What if something better is waiting for us just around the corner? Is this really it? And then we come to the point where a lot of relationships are headed – to an end. When it gets serious and when all the colors start to fade, we are not all in anymore. Significant problems make us run away, to search for something better. We don’t try. We simply give up. We have too many options. Instead of building a strong and lasting relationship, we turn around. Back in the old days, couples stayed together because in most cases they didn’t have other options, and they made it work. They tried. They didn’t quit at the first breaking point. I know, that this has a lot to do with the way of living and that times change, but some things remain.
And still, how do we know who is the right one? Do we really just have to decide? Apparently yes. Of course, there has to be a spark and emotions. But observing it from another perspective, we choose this person, we decide to be together with him or her, it is our free will. We settle for something, that means, we automatically accept it. When we accept a thing, it makes us happy. Everything happens just based on our choices.
To answer my first question – what makes us happy: good relationships, good friendships and everything we choose. Good relationships are built, they don’t just happen, they take work and time. Communication is really important. We don’t communicate enough. Sure we’re good in small talk, but this is not enough. We really have to communicate more, even if it feels hard or uncomfortable at the time. It’s the best way, how to get it out of the system and to learn more about others.
Basically, we manipulate our brain a lot. Considering this thesis, we see, that our lives are just illusions. Deciding to be in a good mood, makes us be in a good mood and the other way around. It all depends on how strong our choices are. For it to work, the decisions need to be consciously made. Only saying something and not feeling it, doesn’t make any difference.
In the end, I personally, come to the point, where there is not much more to say than: “F**k it! Let’s get real.” Why being satisfied only with superficial relations? I want something real, with all the good and all the bad. Simple as that, just because I choose so.
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